


He didn't make it.

by journalofimprobablethings



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, But Lucretia doesn't know that!, Drabble, Episode: e058-059 Lunar Interlude V: Reunion Tour Parts 1-2, Grief/Mourning, I'm so sorry Luce, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Magnus isn't really dead, Mentioned Magnus Burnsides, Sad The Director | Lucretia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:34:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26735959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/journalofimprobablethings/pseuds/journalofimprobablethings
Summary: Just a drabble about what might have been going on in Lucretia's head when she was told Magnus didn't come back from Wonderland.
Relationships: The Director | Lucretia & Everyone
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	He didn't make it.

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I firmly believe that Lucretia and Magnus were Best Friends and you can't tell me she didn't have a Moment by herself when she found out before she went to meet Taako and Merle. Poor Lucy. She fucked up so bad and I love her so much.

It has been two days since the Director sent three members of her family into Wonderland. The longer the time stretches, the more her fear grows. She has been pacing her office for hours, unable to work, unable to settle, unable to do anything but worry.

_Are they all right? Will they be able to get the bell? What will they be forced to sacrifice? They’ve already lost so much, how much more will they lose in that place?_

_Have I killed them?_

Then—finally—Killian’s voice over the Stone of Farspeech on the desk.

Director?

She snatches the Stone up too fast, fingers fumbling on the buttons.

_Keep your voice calm, Madam Director._

Go ahead.

They’re back.

_They’re back they’re back they survived they’re back they made it I didn’t send them to their deaths._

Do they have the bell?

Yeah, they got it.

Oh thank the gods.

_The last one. That’s all of them. This is it. It’s almost over—_

But…

What?

Killian, what is it?

It’s Magnus.  
_  
_ He didn’t make it.

_No._  
_Magnus  
_ _No._

Director?

_Magnus Magnus Magnus Magnus_

_He didn’t make it._

Director, are you there?

Yes.

Davenport’s collecting the bell from them now. He’ll bring it to you right away.

I— _He’s gone_ That’s— _He didn’t make it  
_Thank you, Killian.

_It’s all my fault._

The Stone clatters back onto the desk. The Director presses a trembling hand to her mouth, wraps the other arm tight around her chest.

Davenport will be here soon with the bell. She should be preparing to channel the final piece of the Light into her staff. This is it, finally. She is so close, so close to finishing, to being able to bring her family home.

But—

But—

She is alone in her office. So there is no one to see when the Director—Lucretia—crumples.

Barry is missing. Lup is lost. Magnus is _gone._

How much of her family will be left by the end?

And with that thought, just for a moment, she falters.

She could reset.

The Light will soon be whole again. The Hunger is almost here. She could take Fisher back to the Starblaster, fly back into the space between the planes. She could get Magnus and Lup and all her family back, and they could try again.

But she knows that this is a selfish thought, more selfish than anything else she has done. That decision is one that she will not make on her own.

They have gone too far here, sacrificed too much, to just run away and keep the cycle going. One way or another, this world is where it ends.

The Director takes a deep breath, and draws herself up.

She will not allow the Hunger to win.

For Magnus, for Lup—for all the rest of her family—she will do all she can to make sure that their journey does not end in darkness.

Later, she will allow herself to mourn. Later, when it’s done, she can allow herself to fall apart.

But for now, she has work to do.

**Author's Note:**

> The formatting on this one is... kind of weird? Playing with style and different ways of expressing dialogue vs. thoughts vs. action. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


End file.
